EVENT LOG: BURY A FRIEND

[inthenightmods]

EVENT LOG:
BURY A FRIEND

characters: everyone.
location: around town.
date/time: october 9-17.
content: the hallucinations begin...
warnings: psychological horror. please cw tags appropriately.

it's probably something that shouldn't be said out loud

October 9 feels like a normal day at first, save for the red lighthouse beam cutting through the darkness overhead. You know by now—or you've heard—that the lighthouse is only active during ferry arrivals and events... And there's definitely no ferry docked at the, er. Beach. The town is quiet, the forest spirits behave business-as-usual, Rastus doesn't know what's up. Whatever's going on, you'll have to figure it out for yourself.

And you will, though the hallucinations are subtle at first: objects moving when they shouldn't, people's proportions looking just a bit off, voices in an empty room, and so on. Is it just your mind playing tricks in the darkness? Might be! Will did warn you all about the effects of living without a sun and a proper day/night cycle.

As the days go on, the hallucinations are harder to ignore, no matter how much you may wish to wave them off as flukes. What's wrong with everyone's faces? When did all the howling start? Who do you hold onto when the world drops out from under you? And those hands...

While you might know it can't be real, it certainly feels real. But at least it can't last forever!

...Right?

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Comments

no you're so good I was worried I owed you a tag somewhere

[sauntered_downward]

This changes a lot about how Crowley sees the forest spirits. He's heard a lot about them, and it's changed his opinion a lot.

"Sounds like they're being controlled by that Lighthouse keeper," he says. "Maybe they saw a kindred spirit in you."

[worthallthis]

You know, the Soldier can almost kind of see that. That makes it a little more sad, and definitely more determined to talk to its new spirit-friend again. "I didn't think to ask if the Lightkeeper really controls them. I did find out that they have names."

[sauntered_downward]

"Like people?" Crowley says, raising an eyebrow. "Look, I know you don't want to be a person, but----you could do with a name. Aziraphale might even be able to dig your real name out of your memories if you'd let him."

[worthallthis]

The flinch isn't as dramatic as it could be, without the fear, but it's still there, and still automatic. The idea of finding it's name from Before HYDRA is even worse than someone just dubbing it with a new one. The idea almost hurts, makes a tightness in the throat and it's heart stutter. It's protest is immediate and firm: "I don't want it."

It tries to settle it's ruffled brain against the idea of a name and suggests, "Give me a nickname if you want. Something that's not an actual name. Scarlett calls me Tinman, and that's okay."

[sauntered_downward]

"Tinman doesn't have a heart," Crowley says. "And I think we both know you do."

It doesn't make sense to Crowley, of course. One of the first things he did when he Fell was rename himself. When he decided he didn't like that name, he just picked another one and he's been expanding on that name ever since. It feels wrong to not give the human soldier person a name.

But if it's what he wants...?

[worthallthis]

Right now? Abso-fucking-lutely what it wants.

Also, that mention of actual Wizard of Oz canon is enough to make the Soldier stop in the middle of the path and blink a few times as the association loop completes in its brain. "No," it says. "The Tinman wanted a heart, but in the end you know he had one all along. That. Sounds stupidly fitting. Actually." Occasionally it does have actual moments of self-awareness. When it lets itself.

[sauntered_downward]

"Is that what the movie was about?" Crowley says, shrugging. "I don't know, I just saw it because Aziraphale wanted to." And, of course, it was in color which was incredibly cool and Crowley couldn't miss out on a human invention like that. He rather likes the cinema, though he tends to go watch children's movies far more than anything else. Always more fun than the things that are supposed to make him think.

"If that's what you want me to call you, that's what I'll call you. It's all up to you, you pick your own name---nickname, whatever."

[worthallthis]

Ironicaly, that's why Bucky originally saw it, too... because the innovation of seeing it in color was amazing, and because Steve wanted to. Not that it remembers either of those things now. The film just exists, semi-complete, in its head, with no real context. Memory is weird.

The Soldier gives him a vaguely annoyed look, but does start waking again. They're almost at the Invincible by now. "Why is this so important to you. I did the math. I spent at least sixty years being called either Soldat or Asset. Either of those are fine." No, no they're not, but it can't accept anything else yet.

[sauntered_downward]

"I just think you deserve to be a person. Pick whatever name you want or don't want, but stop thinking of yourself as a thing. I don't think of you as a thing. Maybe that makes me a lousy handler, but I was never very good at it to begin with."

And Crowley doesn't think he'd be friends with a thing. He's friends with a person. And the human soldier person is a person.

[worthallthis]

"You're not my handler. Not anymore. And I like you better this way-- even if you do still talk about shit like this too much." And it doesn't deserve anything, Crowley. That's going to be an almost harder sell than the whole personhood thing.

[sauntered_downward]

Crowley likes that. The human soldier person likes him better as something other than a handler. They're friends and that---well, it's nice. Crowley doesn't have a lot of friends, he never did. Human friendships never lasted, and he always shied away from them.

"You'll like London, when we get back. Keep you safe, away from the lot that did this to you. Aziraphale will show you his bookshop---that's a bore, but he loves it. Good place to have a glass of wine."

[worthallthis]

The Soldier stands up to Scarlett for you, Crowley. That's love, right there. This, though, is a much safer topic. "I haven't ever been to a bookshop. That I remember. Why is it a bore?"

[sauntered_downward]

"Books!" Crowley says, as if that explains everything about why a bookshop is a bore. "And believe me, he'll tell you about how he organizes them, which is not very well at all, mind."

He looks over to the human soldier person. "Though, the London we're from is going to be a bit different than what you're used to. If I'm guessing from your Sergeant person in your head, you're from about sixty--almost seventy years in our past."

[worthallthis]

"I died in 2014, Crowley," the Soldier says, sounding amused. "I think I'll manage. Hold on, let me get the door." It steps ahead to do just that, holding open the Invincible door for Crowley, offering its metal arm as support for those few last steps.

[sauntered_downward]

"How?" Crowley asks, stopping before he steps inside of the Invincible. "You were in the second World War. I know it, I know what you said. There's no way you could've been there then and dead in 2014. That's impossible."

[worthallthis]

"Either I don't age, or it was being in cryofreeze for years at a time," the Soldier shrugs. It's had this conversation before, so at least it's thought about it already, and knows what to say. "I don't know for sure which it is, since I don't remember. But I'm sure that my handlers kept getting older each time I came out of the ice, and I didn't. It's just one of those things I know without knowing how."

[sauntered_downward]

"I'll hope that it's because you don't age," Crowley says. "Rather have you around a bit longer than just a few years."

He steps up the stairs into the Invincible. His leg aches. It's ached for the last few weeks. He's never had an ache like this before.

"Do you think you'll age here? That we'll all...age here?"

[worthallthis]

"If we manage to stop the world-eater things. Two years isn't long enough to show aging." It considers, holding its metal arm steady to help Crowley make it up the steps. "We're dead, though. And our bodies reform if our lanterns go out. So it's possible we may not."

[sauntered_downward]

That makes Crowley feel a bit better. Thinking that even if they did manage to stop whatever was happening here, that he'd only have a mere thirty or forty years would be devastating. He'd talked to Aziraphale about the possibility of aging and it had stuck with him what they would do if they only had a little bit of time left----and thirty or forty years was certainly only a little bit of time.

"I suppose we'll see, if we don't get out of this place first," he says. "I still say our best bet is that waterway."

[worthallthis]

"Not until we've rebuilt the dock, and see what happens with next month's supply," the Soldier says, leading Crowley to one of the tables. "And I'm sure it won't be that easy, anyway. Sit, get off your leg. I'll get you something."

[sauntered_downward]

Crowley complies. He wants to be difficult, but he's been off his leg for the past week and while he is loathe to admit it, it's helped. He's never going to hear the end of it from Aziraphale if staying off the leg actually does help it.

"We could just build a boat," he says. "Something big enough for three or four of us," he says. "No one else has to be part of it."

[worthallthis]

The Soldier pauses to think that over. It doesn't... like that idea, honestly. Crowley is its friend, but so is Scarlett. And what about Misty, Eleven, and Scarlett? And the others, left behind without someone like the Soldier to protect them? Crowley isn't a handler, so it doesn't have to go along with it. (But I don't really want to watch him sail away, either. I really don't think either of them know how to build a boat, pal. They'll be doing more sinking than sailing.)

Fair point. "Do you know how to build a boat?"

[sauntered_downward]

Crowley looks almost offended by the suggestion. "I've been around people building boats. Been on Earth a long time, I've seen a lot of boat-building."

That is, roughly translated: No.

"We could also try flying. Getting a few torches out of that big bonfire, going out as far as we can. Seeing what's out there."

[worthallthis]

"How far can you fly?" The Soldier picks up moving again and heads to the bar. It'll give in and let Crowley have some booze, this once. Crowley's probably going to have a shitty next few days, it can be nice.

[sauntered_downward]

"Not farther than I can see," Crowley says. "But I once flew 40 days and 40 nights without stopping, so as long as we can get me light, I can get us out there."

And there was a lot of water that time, too.