Truth is like a loaded gun

[kungfuey]

characters: Scarlett Harker kungfuey
location: Various
date/time: Month of October
content: A catch all for various things.
warnings: TBA



*TEMP* Some open prompts will be added to this but in the short term - if there's something specific you'd like to do with Scarlett, hit me up on plurk brooklyn2181

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[kungfuey]

"Punishment?" God fucking help her, how was she supposed to get through this day without punching somebody in the face when he kept saying things like that.

"And who exactly came up with these punishments? This Javert guy?" She knew he wasn't going to get it but she swore at the rate they were going she was going to hate half the people in Beacon for being assholes that dished out orders and punishments like they had some right to.

[worthallthis]

That's a bit of a surprise. Why would she be angry? It deserved some kind of punishment for a fuck-up of that magnitude, and it's not even really a punishment anyway, since it would probably have done that regardless. "Yes," it answers with a blink. "He's still my handler." Unlike Crowley. "He has that right. It's hardly even a punishment, Scarlett. Even Misty not talking to me is. Worse than that."

[kungfuey]

A low growl rumbles in her chest and she has to force herself to step away, Scarlett not wanting him to feel like she's angry at him when all she wants to do right now is find this Javert asshole and slit him down the middle.

"He is not. Your handler." Her fingers curling into her palms until her hands become white-knuckled fists. "And he has no right to punish you."

[worthallthis]

Fuck, not again. It should have known better than to talk about this. The Soldier makes an actual, physical effort not to shrink back against the wall and drop every nuance of expression, this time. It's hard. It doesn't quite manage it, but it's not as bad as it's reaction to her first upset, either. It even manages to say something other than a platitude, thought its eyes are fixed firmly on the ground: "Can we please not argue about this. Scarlett. I know you don't like it."

Handlers are still necessary, dammit. Nobody understands that. Normally, that's okay, it doesn't mind people not understanding... but not when they get so angry about it.

[kungfuey]

"I don't like it. Because it's fucked up." Barely able to control her temper as she grits out those words. "Nobody here has the right to punish you. Nobody here has the right to tell you what to do. You might not realize that but this piece of shit does and he's doing it anyway."

She looks back at him and if she could possibly hate herself any more than she already does? Then she certainly does right now. His body language, his entire demeanor making her flinch as she closes her eyes - to shield them both from this picture.

"People who take advantage of you like that... they're bad, people, Tinman."

[worthallthis]

Maybe, maybe not. Crowley isn't bad, he's just dumb, but he cares. Javert doesn't seem to be. Rigid, judgmental, maybe even unforgiving... but not bad. Not in any way the Soldier is used to.

There's no way to make Scarlett see that. It tries anyway, voice quiet. "No one here is the kind of bad person I'm used to as handlers. No one hurts me. The punishments are easy. No one makes me kill people. The Asset requires handlers for instruction. I can't not. But it's better here."

Please just accept that. It doesn't know how long it can hold onto an intelligent conversation while she seethes, but it's trying very, very hard to stay present this time, at least so far.

[kungfuey]

"Better than evil twisted fucks, isn't exactly a high bar." She doesn't sound angry anymore, just tired because it's like talking to a brick wall. He doesn't want to hear what she has to say and nothing she says or does will change anything. She doesn't know whether to be infuriated or just sad and it would be so much easier to say that this isn't her problem and walk away... But she can't, and that in and of itself is what's messing with her head right now.

"I don't believe that." She finally manages to say, but it no longer looks like she's going to explode. "I know you think you do, and I get it feels that way now. But you could learn how to become your own handler."

She can't accept it. To accept it would mean to say that she condones what's happening and that's never going to happen.

[worthallthis]

Brick wall isn't that far off, at least right now. The idea of being its "own handler" actually makes it flinch-- just a little, but it's still there and still visible to Scarlett. Then it looks back down at the floor.

But it's a brick wall that hears and remembers, even if right now it can't incorporate and accept. It's not going to forget that she said that, because at the very least it's a way to explain a new state of being in terms it's used to, and without using the dreaded word "person".

"Even if that's true--" (It's not. It's not fucking true. C'mon, pal. I can't, Sergeant. I just can't. *Sigh.*) "--I can't right now."

[kungfuey]

Her eyes flutter closed at that flinch, more because it's a reminder of how far he is from getting there despite all the ground he's made and she doesn't want him to see the frustration that lingers there. For him to think she's disappointed, or angry. She's both of those things, but it's not directed at him.

Right now is at least better than never, Scarlett's mouth pressed into a thin like as she forces herself to look at him again. The silence stretching to the point of uncomfortable before she finally nods.

"Can you at least... be choosier about the - " She hesitates, hating the word but needing to force it out. "Handlers?" Her teeth creaking as she grinds her molars. "The thing about leaders, the kind of strong personalities you'd be drawn to? Power and corruption tend to go hand in hand."

[worthallthis]

Her voice after the long silence elicits a twitch, though not a flinch at least. There is a visible difference. The Soldier glances at her sidelong, through hair and lashes, then shrugs helplessly. "I can try. But it isn't always conscious choice. Sometimes it just. Happens." It draws in a slow breath and finishes, "But I'll try." That's the best it can do.