logsinthenight | On Golden Sands

Entry tags:

rosinante donquixote (lauren)

On Golden Sands

characters: anyone!
location: beacon, above the waterline
date/time: mostly an open post for everyone who didn't go to the station july 8 - 15th, but open for july in general!
content: a catchall and mingle (and idle hand-wringing for the rest of us)
warnings: the usual: mark your subject lines as needed

the open event post is a little daunting and full of top-levels for those who went undersea sailing, as it were. i figured i'd make a space off in a corner for anyone who wants to hit up other topside folks without wading (heh) through the event text - and also give space for threads before and after so as not to flood the event!

i'm turning off emails on this entry for my own sanity but i'll check periodically for toplevels and put up my own toplevel a little later in the day!

come on in, the not-the-water's fine!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's a difficult question, one Cao Pi has to mull over. First of all, who's even left? He's going to quietly hope that the deaths they witnessed down below are reversible, else he'll really miss Matt. "That depends on what sort of leadership you mean," he casually cautions. "Command of forces, the ability to give orders and advice and have them followed? Oh, quite a few. Yourself, of course, the Inspector, the Counselor, the...uh..." Ah, shit, he forgot Minimus' title. It's the wine. "Really, anyone already used to having people listen to them when they make a demand or a suggestion. But true leadership?" Slyly smirking over the rim of his glass. "None, I have to admit."

None but himself? Well, it's not a surprise, really. Nobody else ever tried to step forward. A few suggestions about a council had been made, but then nobody really took the lead on that either. Fine with him, really. Too many interested would just mean butting heads.

"At least it's easy to manage as we are with how few of us are here," he says, pausing for another drink of the wine. "Of course, there's that kid who turned up while we were out, too. Diode."

Well there would have been more but...they're all dead. Every last one of them, sadly. Not that he says so, leaving the mystery for now.

"I heard something about a boy. A former keeper? I haven't looked into it yet, I have been trying to rest and sort out what we learned down there."

"As you should," he says with a nod. "But I ran into him by mistake, I guess. He was just out in the middle of town. Said he was the keeper around thirty years ago and seems to think he still deserves to be thought of as some kind of authority."

Which, trigger some deep skepticism. What is it with kids being keepers, too? Robin was young enough but this one looks half her age.

Yeah that's exactly what he's thinking, something worth saying aloud. "And he truly is a child? Honestly. Who chooses a Keeper and gives them so much responsibility over life and death? Or death and permanent death, either way. It's unreasonable." Oh no he's starting to get drunk and really speak his mind. "Perhaps if it were one of those who outlasted every other reset, if they are now gone, it will fall to us. Not that there's a place for a lighthouse keeper anymore..."

"Dr. Ingram's still here." If it were one of those who outlasted every other reset. But the statement is clearly not intended to be taken seriously - he even snorts at his own joke. Will, a keeper? Very funny.

"Think it's voluntary. Don't know who here'd volunteer. Doesn't matter now though. That lighthouse is long gone. Wasn't even much left in the rubble, I think a lot of it must've dumped into the lake."

"Shame." He obviously doesn't mean it, snorting into his wineglass. "We were getting such top quality use out of a tower we could not approach and a light that warns no one of nothing."

He's aware of the red light and the World Eaters and all that but he's past caring for tonight.

"Run by a teenager who'd been trapped there decades. It's a wonder Robin's as calm as she is."

He's come a long way from his initial anger at her. While some of it still lurks, for he'll never forget what happened to him and the others who went to try and help her, he logically does understand that it wasn't her fault. Green-eyed spirits make every situation into the worst one possible.

"Self-determination," he abruptly announces with a raise of his glass, as if toasting to the air - a sign of the alcohol finally sinking in. "Nobody to press a button and kill us all. We'll do it right or die and that'll be the end of all this."

Yeah, that's...honestly it's wonder they haven't all gone stir-crazy, especially after Will warned them. Especially after knowing that for seventy-five years groups repeatedly did so and had to be reset and yet Solis still brought more in to do it again and again...

Wow, that got dark fast. Cao Pi tips his glass to agree and then realizes it's time for a top-off. Look at that dark red liquid leaving the bottle, and yet it remains as full as ever when done.

"Yes. It's all on us." He takes a sip, savors it, and then adds (thanks dark thoughts), "I still don't understand the doctor's complete plan, here. This world loses nothing if we stop, if we all die. If we succeed, it still gains very little. Is it even possible to bring back the sun?"

"You thinking the Wild Hunt were right after all?"

Not that he's entirely serious, asking that question, but he does see their point - if you only think about this one world.

"Don't know enough about suns myself to say if it can light up again. Things come back, they call it life returning, but it's still just spirits, like the bugs. I still think it's valuable to keep fighting, though. Don't like the idea of just giving up. People here are important to me."

People out in the greater universe too, but now he's got people here, with him, who he doesn't want to lose ever.

A slow shake of his head. "No, they were not. Simply rolling over and giving up is pathetic and cowardly. Even after the disaster, losing the lighthouse and the doctor, we still have tools to claw our way back to survival, and thriving." A shrug that makes the wine in his glass slosh a bit. "Perhaps I can simply see how they got to their conclusion, wallowing in despair and only seeing the worst."

Since the station, and the lingering hallucinations of his death - flashes of seeing the fear and fatalism in the eyes of his wife and Ishida as they stood with him to face the serpent - he has been wondering at what point any of them should give up. How long should they fight? What constitutes living in a dead world? What is death to a dead thing? But he doesn't say anything about it, only putting in, "Without the influence of those who had been stuck here, we are free to choose our own goal, now. If we reject Pluto's goal, the Wild Hunt's, and even Solis' goal, what new goal can we set for ourselves?"

"Same one I've had this whole time. Figure out how to kill one of these things - one that's not trapped, or weakened, or whatever the situation was in the station. Learn what works and try to get the message out to everyone else. Or we die in the attempt."

Which was probably Pluto's goal in part. Might have been Dr. Solis' in a way, considering how obviously guilty she felt for what she brought, but if the world eaters can travel from star to star then maybe it was inevitable they'd find their way here in time. At least they're in a position to try and fix it for her now.

"Mmm." Something about that grunt is slightly unconvinced. But this isn't a strategy session, it's a drinking sessions, so he doesn't have to commit to agreeing or disagreeing with anything right now. "But is that all? Can we reach for more?"

His airy tone more than heavily hints that this time it's entirely rhetorical. Wistful dreaming, not so much a question or request for help.

"Can dream. We have a portal to master and then we can get parts. Dr. Ingram talks about building a ship sometimes. We could spread the word ourselves, go help others. See other worlds."

A pretty enchanting idea, even if it seems like a remote possibility. It's not one he'll count on. If they're stuck here on this world for the rest of time, he'll be glad that at least he has that much. But it's fun to daydream about the possibilities so long as he doesn't get too hung up on them.

"Does he?" Cao Pi smiles slyly. "Other worlds. The good doctor does have quite the imagination. Or, perhaps, just a burning desire to revisit his own memories. It's fascinating, isn't it? I wonder how many centuries separate someone like me from someone like him."

He downs another gulp of tasteless wine. "Dunno. A lot. I think he just misses home. It's like me missing the ocean. Being stuck on land for so long doesn't feel right."

The lake isn't the same as the sea. He could get by if it was at least a real ocean, he thinks - for as much as he does enjoy sailing, it isn't his lifeblood entirely the way it is for some. He'd be happy in a small, quiet, out of the way village on an island so long as he could still set sail now and then just for fun and a sense of adventure.

They're both stranded. He's said it before. Will belongs in the stars and it must feel alien to be so far beneath them for as long as he has been.

"A feeling I cannot share, even if I understand," Cao Pi sighs. "I was never at home on the water, what little time I spent in my father's navy. But, I do grasp that we all have our own things we miss, our reasons for homesickness and longing."

Which is just more fuel for the downhearted mood. He can't help but think of what might have been, what might yet be. "I wonder if there is anything among the technology that would allow us to go back. Being alive while dead, eating and drinking, is already impossible, perhaps we could look for more impossibilities..."

At the very least, he'd kill for a chance to communicate, to say goodbye to those who matter. To maybe share some sorcery for killing that snake monster. Something, anything to atone for dying in such a useless tragedy.

"I'm sure it's something people here have been working on. Seems like a lot of people would want to go back. But hell, doesn't mean it's impossible just because they haven't done it yet. We could go back and tell all our worlds about this place. Help them prepare."

But that seems like even more of a fantasy than the rest. Can they go back despite being dead? Is the fact that the lanterns can sustain a sort of non-life a feature of this world only, or independent of it? Would Law want to go back and finish what he started, or is it better if they stick together now and make a new life away from the world that despises Rosinante for the nature of his birth? Law must miss his friends dearly and if an opportunity to go back to them should arise, Rosinante would want him to be able to go - but what about Will and Mary?

With a sigh, he lights a cigarette and fixates on that instead. It tastes like nothing, too. Nothing is satisfying anymore.

"Even to simply send messages..." Wistfully. One more farewell and I love you. Oh yeah and maybe watch out for more giant monsters, that's important too, good point Rosinante. Zihuan gulps down the rest of his wine and then takes a break, leaning his hands on the bar top. This magic wine hits hard but at least he knows - he tested it for science - that it also means he'll sleep good and deeply. Fucking flashbacks can go straight to hell.

"...anyway. You are right. It won't hurt to try. We have the luxury of what seems like eternity, so long as we don't kill off the only ones who can repair lanterns and work the portal."

"Yeah. Kind of makes the idea of a lighthouse keeper feel unnecessary, doesn't it? If even one person who knows how to operate the portal can hide well enough, they can keep working, as long as the World Eaters don't find them."

Maybe. His mind is a little muddled right now. That can't be right, can it? Why have a lighthouse for hundreds of years with the resets if it just wasn't needed? Maybe it's just too hard right now to fully think all the consequences through. He looks at his glass, downs what's left of it, and pushes it toward the bottle for more.

"Someone oughta write instructions. Leave them at the lab in case they're ever needed."

Cao Pi is all too happy to fulfill that request, inwardly feeling like he's the best host in the world for doing so, while he really just needs to slow down or he'll fall asleep before everyone who needs booze gets booze.

"Yes, that should be a thing," he admits off-hand, though he probably won't remember it without some help later. "Really, though. Has anyone asked Robin why there was a need for a lighthouse keeper? Aside from the resets. If her only purpose was to decide when to massacre an entire population and start over again...well. That is. Actually, rather horrible, poor child."

"Yeah. Feel bad for her now. Almost enough to regret being angry." Almost. Logically, he understands what happened now, a whole year later, when he went with the others to the lighthouse but old emotions buried deep inside still flare up when he thinks about what a horrible waste it was, losing Five and Winters so quickly.

"If there was more of a reason, she never explained it. Much like a lot of other things," he grumbles into his glass.

Almost is exactly it. Cao Pi can have unpleasant feelings for the situation but still not really want to talk to the kid.

"I haven't talked to her much," he admits, "if at all. Have you?"

"Not in a while. Before the lighthouse collapsed, I spoke with her a few times. Seemed like a good idea considering the position she was in. I feel bad for her, mostly. I think she really wanted to do the right thing."

Just that she was in a really shitty position. Twenty years of having to massacre everyone periodically would drive anyone mad, so it's remarkable that she had stayed more or less sane through it all as far as he can tell.

"I wish she'd just come back to town. Makes me wonder if the spirits are holding her captive out there somehow and she just can't say it."

"I know she contacted us, with the tablet," he remembers, "but that was before we left, before everything happened. I wasn't aware she wasn't planning to actually come to us." Spirits preventing her from joining the town, well, that's a possibility. However, she could also be lost, maybe. "There are so few of us left, and after the tragic incidents that put us here, we must all work together no matter what."

It's bold words, easy to say, especially while half-drunk. Things in general appear to be increasing in difficulty for those left. When he's sober later, Cao Pi will make a list of all the things he keeps saying they need to do. First and foremost, though, is probably calling a meeting after they see if their portal works and newcomers arrive. He opens his mouth to say something to that effect so that Rosinante can agree but a moment's lightheadedness makes him pause. "....ah. Perhaps I should slow down."

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