( you said yes, cas says, and yet what dean really hears in that tone of voice, the admonishment (like dean betrayed him), is how dare you.
which, actually — it's proof enough. no other cas would care if he said yes; hell, the whole point of not letting him rot in hell was so he could say yes.
dean lowers the knife, his chest tightening with guilt, his mind grappling with finding the right words to say i'm sorry. he knows he should, and he wants to, but it also opens up a whole different can of worms and he's not sure he's up to having that conversation right now. sorry for pulling a knife on you but you sure did choke me to death before i got here. anyway, how's the afterlife?
his gaze flickers from cas', out of shame, perhaps; it's less hostile now, more weary than it was before — and not just because he's aged physically. he looks exhausted. he looks like the entire weight of the world in on his shoulders and he's barely holding up. the only reason he hasn't let go of that weight is sheer stubbornness, a self-inflicted punishment. )
I had no other choice. ( he doesn't want to talk about this, either, but he'll admit to the bare minimum. he makes a show of pocketing the knife, a gesture of good faith despite ... well, the last five minutes. turns out, he didn't need it at all, but — ) It's complicated, Cas.
( he doesn't just mean michael. he means his situation in general, and in the same vein, how he got here. but when aren't things complicated for them? )
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which, actually — it's proof enough. no other cas would care if he said yes; hell, the whole point of not letting him rot in hell was so he could say yes.
dean lowers the knife, his chest tightening with guilt, his mind grappling with finding the right words to say i'm sorry. he knows he should, and he wants to, but it also opens up a whole different can of worms and he's not sure he's up to having that conversation right now. sorry for pulling a knife on you but you sure did choke me to death before i got here. anyway, how's the afterlife?
his gaze flickers from cas', out of shame, perhaps; it's less hostile now, more weary than it was before — and not just because he's aged physically. he looks exhausted. he looks like the entire weight of the world in on his shoulders and he's barely holding up. the only reason he hasn't let go of that weight is sheer stubbornness, a self-inflicted punishment. )
I had no other choice. ( he doesn't want to talk about this, either, but he'll admit to the bare minimum. he makes a show of pocketing the knife, a gesture of good faith despite ... well, the last five minutes. turns out, he didn't need it at all, but — ) It's complicated, Cas.
( he doesn't just mean michael. he means his situation in general, and in the same vein, how he got here. but when aren't things complicated for them? )