O LIGHT THAT FOLLOWEST ALL MY WAY, I YIELD MY FLICKERING TORCH TO THEE;

[catholicisms]

characters: matt, & other people
location: many places
date/time: first half of november
content: matt is doing things
warnings: i'm still hot garbage at this... and i'll add if anything comes up



see below for starters, or hit me with a wildcard! just some stuff to tag at during the event, feel free to pm me or hit me up at meowed to chat about setting something up!

Comments

[ultraviolents]

[ unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, neither is she. she's not as tired as she can see that he is (she notices he hasn't moved to sit up, in spite of his offer and protest), and if he doesn't rest she doesn't think she'll be able to, anyway. she reaches out with her free hand, brushing his hair off of his forehead, stroking back and forth over his skin. ]

We can keep talking, then, if you want. [ she doesn't think he does, but it sounds better than 'we can sit here in silence til one of us falls asleep'. ]

[catholicisms]

( definitely unfortunate. he'd love a chance to ignore what his body demanding of him, to have the silence and loneliness to rake himself over the coals of his own guilt. if she's awake, there's not a good chance of that. she clearly won't let him travel too far down the treacherous path of his thoughts before she drags him back.

he's not particularly keen to talk, either. she probably knows that. his eyes close, for a moment, at the brush of her fingers. she might have a point, even if he's definitely too stubborn to admit it. Matthew isn't incapable of sleeping, though he's determined not to pass out right away. )

Come down here, ( he suggests instead, nodding at the blanket she's still sitting on. because if she's going to make him sleep, he's apparently going to get connive a cuddle out of it first. once he's actually starting to fade, he'll release her. until then... having her close might be the only reassurance he has that she's not going to disappear next. )

[ultraviolents]

[ she nods, giving one final brush of her thumb over his forehead before shifting her position, curling against him on her side. the hand he's holding over his heart remains where it is and she pillows her other arm beneath her cheek. her forehead tucks against his shoulder as she settles.

this isn't his fault, and she'd tell him that but she knows he won't want to hear it. she's honestly not sure if hearing it will be better or worse; yes, that means that this isn't his fault, but it also means that their time here could be finite. it's one thing to be told that and another to have proof of it shown to you. it makes it real, and frightening. it's something she's thinking about, too. ]

[catholicisms]

( it's one of those uncomfortable situations where there's probably nothing she can say that can really make him feel better. there's not anything that will erase the weight and the heartbreak of knowing a kid is dead, whether Matt is as responsible for that as he feels or not. telling him not to blame himself won't make it easier, in the end, even if she could convince him (and she probably couldn't). Grizz would still be gone, the life of a good kid suddenly extinguished, and there's just no helping that reality.

words might be a lost cause, but having her close helps. and true to his word, he doesn't fall asleep right away. there's a good stretch where Matt just holds onto her and relishes that he can, lets himself indulge in that rather than fixating on anything else. it takes awhile but slowly he does start to tire, and she'll know it because his grip starts to slack.

he doesn't just pass out on her, though, letting her go to settle onto his back. )

Wake me up in two hours. ( or if anything happens, but, he figures that part goes without saying. the indulgence of closeness is over — she'd only be slowed down if something happened if he was hanging on to her. )

[ultraviolents]

[ there's not, and she knows it, which is why she remains silent except for her heartbeat and breathing. the thumb of the hand that rests over his heart starts to rub back and forth in the same pattern her opposite had over his forehead. it's as much as a comfort to be close to him as it is for him to have her close, to repay the same kindness he'd shown her during her hallucinations and just to know that he's close, that they're both still alive. so to speak.

she's not sure exactly how long it is before he starts to fade, but she makes sure to remain alert, listening to his heartbeat and for whatever might be out there with them. it's sooner than she expects before his grip starts to loosen around her body, arms going heavy and slack around her waist. she slips free of them when he lets her go, rolling fully onto his back, and she props herself up as he asks her when to wake him. ]

Try not to dream. [ she smiles lightly, bending to kiss the corner of his mouth, before fully sitting up, pulling her knees to her chest as she turns her focus to the forest at night. ]