"No, I was. Spent the first ten minutes wedged into a corner in the cabin with my gun out. Maybe only got off then because Crowley convinced me to protect him." They pause, half with the memory that Crowley is missing and half with the urge to smile without humor. They wind up just shaking their head. "Didn't take much convincing. I was so desperate for somebody to tell me what to do, took even Crowley's fake confidence as authority."

Look at how far Soldat's come, Elle. They can not only recognize the idiocy of that, they can talk about it.