[It's still more of an answer than Soldat had really expected to get, with that reaction almost immediately making them regret even asking.

So they nod slowly, a little hesitantly, at the explanation, and take it at face value. And, really, there's something in that Soldat can relate to:]

It wasn't. In your programming. And so you broke your programming and then felt like you couldn't go back.

[Yeah, yeah that kind of fits. Soldat's one instance of wanting to die had been guilt, but they can see how breaking programming he'd thought had been good and right could leave someone like their handler at such a place. Empathy. They're getting better at it.]