"I wouldn't say it was controlling," he responds. "But I've been a part of the Marines almost my whole life. Even as a kid and not really enlisted since, like I think I mentioned, my father was an admiral. So I basically grew up knowing duty, and discipline, and wearing a uniform. It wasn't bad," he adds quickly, and earnestly. He knows it all did him a lot of good. Kept him focused, turned a lot of his anxiety and fear around. "Just different."

There are still certainly things he can't bring up. The last four years might have looked like freedom, but in reality he was even more restricted. He had to act a certain way, affect certain mannerisms and play a certain role while on the longest and most terrifying undercover mission he'd ever taken. And of course, there was always the looming specter of his own origins which - well. He still can't mention that here even if it would probably be okay to do so. The deep dread in him, the anguish he went through as a child resulting from it, prevents him from even mentioning it. Nobody here would turn against him but fear isn't rational.