logsinthenight | From the windows (from the windows) to the walls (to the walls)

Entry tags:

From the windows (from the windows) to the walls (to the walls)

characters: Sora, Crowley, Matt Murdock, Hana, Midge Maisel, and you!
location: Beacon, with a quick detour to the lake post-freeze.
date/time: January 3rd through the 10th! (And one on the 13th if I can get away with it - Sora wants to go ice skating!)
content: Sora is on his grind! Taking names! Making friends! Paying his dues! Having fun! Trying to work so hard that his existential crisis forgets he's there! (Will match tag format.)
warnings: Warning for low self-esteem and, uh, Catholicism?

[ A: A visit to a new friend. Closed to Hana Song (and maybe the other residents of the cabin?) ]

Day three of the convalescence of Hana Song. Sora's in the cabin again, walking to her door with a paper bag under his arm after giving a brief, polite, completely friendly greeting to her roommates. They're very lucky that they took her in, and even helped find them splints and bandages so her arm and leg would heal straight. (That took a lot of reapplications of the Cure spell! It's sort of strange to think it's been reduced to the same effect as super fancy band-aids and anesthetic.)

He'll knock at the door of her room in the cabin. "Hey, Hana? You awake?"

[ B: Bad Catholic checks out a creepy pagan cathedral. For Matt Murdock, but open otherwise. ]

It's Sunday, so it seems like a perfectly reasonable day to check out the little church he saw on his many, many trips to and from the boat when he first got here. Skyler never really took religion seriously, and only went to Mass when the rest of the family did for Christmas and Easter, and even then he only did it because Arielle wanted to go see the lights and hear the music with everyone, Skyler included. If there's Catholic guilt here, it's only here because Arielle managed to make Skyler feel bad for not pretending to give a fuck.

In a lot of ways, Sora has even less of an attachment to organized religion than Skyler did. After all, he was living proof that the soul did not conclusively go to a heaven or a hell. And even if his existence wasn't conclusive enough, the many times he died in all of his lives and the many ways death and the afterlife has manifested has shifted his perspective of an all powerful God who reigns over heaven by just a bit. A church shouldn't change his perspective on that.

But, again, in a lot of ways, Sora is Skyler, except honest. And if he was being honest with himself, he liked the peace and beauty of a church as much as Ari did. He was just curious to see it, is all.

He shuts the tall door behind him and looks around the atrium, lifting his lantern to see as much of the architecture as he can. No clear dedications on his way in. What a weird place.

"Is this place Anglican," he asks, half to himself and half to the darkness of the pews in front of him. His eyes are now more or less used to the constant, overpowering dark of Beacon, but he still doesn't know if anyone else is in here. No nightvision for him.

[ C: Library. Open. ]

Throughout the week during his stay at the library, Sora will slowly, inevitably, grudgingly take an interest in the books around him. He's really not big on fiction - he's not creative enough to make them interesting - but the non-fiction will capture his interest. Practical books on cooking and first aid grab him first, followed by anything else that seems like it could come in handy in the near future - morse code, music, diy and repairs. (He makes sure to put them back in the reshelving areas, not on the shelves - he's not entirely a caveman, and the Elvira person on the network told him to be careful and clean up after himself and others. Which he does!)

Where do you find him? Wandering around with a book in his hand? Reading at one of the tables? Passed out drooling on one of the tables? Were you interested in something in the fiction section, only to find his cot in the way of your books? Is he in the cot? Who knows! I don't know. It's up to you.

[ D: The Invincible, the Kitchen. For Midge Maisel, but open to anyone who can catch him arriving or leaving. ]

Hey, Midge. Remember that teen who shyly poked his head into the kitchen a few days ago and asked in a very, very slight New Jersey accent if he could use the kitchen just to make some things and leave? The kid who proceeded to come back every day, right after the end of the daily meal, to make something to eat before cleaning up (and he always cleans up - maybe not perfectly, with things in the wrong places, but there are no crumbs or stray utensils left out) and heading out again?

Yup. Same teen. He's toasting a couple of pieces of bread in butter, layering cheese and some slices of turkey he found somewhere on top. It's nothing extraordinarily fancy, and he's just going to pack it up and leave again, but this time, he's making enough for two. He also has a bowl with him, and inside... that's a fruit salad, isn't it? Slices of apple, grapefruit, orange, peach, and a few more fruits rest inside, dotted with blueberries and grapes. Who exactly is he making all of this for? Why is he making it? Why can't he just eat with everyone else??? It is a mystery.

[ E: Armory. Open. ]

On the third day of the blizzard, Sora gathers all of the clothing he can and some snowboots he nabbed from the general store and hikes the miserable 40 minute hike through driving snow to the armory. He makes sure to go there when the regular lessons with Javert aren't going on - as much as he'd love some company, he doesn't want to risk running into anyone else while he tests out his spells, especially if they make him think about who he is and why he's doing any of this. One thing at a time!

He's tacked a piece of paper to wall. On this paper is a list of every spell and ability he can reasonably test without someone else there to help him. Time to do some experimenting.

Why are you out here? What are you doing? It's so cold! There's so much snow! But if you're in the armory for some reason, you'll see a weird kid in the basement at the range, with a giant key in his hands, casting magic spells that send pinpricks of light spinning at the targets at the other end of the range. How curious are you? (And seriously, what are you doing out there right now?)

[ F: Sora has skates and will now sksksksksk across the ice. For Crowley, but open otherwise. ]

Pretty self explanatory. Granted, the skates are VERY beautiful, made of glassy crystal, with a pair of crystal hand-glove-claw things to match, but they seem to be for aesthetics only. Sora will stay near the edge of the water - he doesn't want to risk falling through for several reasons - and he skates with the comfortable motions of someone who doesn't skate professionally but can and does skate for fun.

But indeed, there he go. Sksksksksk across the ice, his lantern bumping at his hip. He could use some company. He will, in fact, wave and skate over if he sees he has an audience. You aren't getting away without a chat, pal. (Unless you're a Riku or Vanitas, in which case he will seriously consider drowning after all.)

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"The Lord be with you, usually." Still, knowing the response is absolutely a step ahead of most residents of Beacon. Beyond Scully, Matthew hasn't found much in the way of fellow catholics. It's a fellowship he misses, even though he wasn't exactly close friends with any of the parishioners of Clinton. Mostly he just talked to his priest...

Either way, Sora doesn't have to feel too bad. Matt doesn't feel affronted or interrupted. While talking to somebody casually is about the most anti-catholic thing one could possibly do, Beacon is a place with a lot of new faces and a lot of questions. Many harder to answer than others. He's probably not the authority on how to use a church of a different religion, but he can share his own insight, for what it is worth. "A church is just a space. You can commune with God anywhere -- having a space like this is more of a comfort than a necessity."

Can we give him points for not quoting his own biblical namesake here? Because let's be real, he could have.

"Right." Sora lowers his lantern and gives this guy a onceover. Seems normal enough. He's going to pause - no talking in church - and then shrug, sitting in a pew a little behind and off to the side, placing his own lantern next to him. And then he'll go ahead and plop his chin on the back of the pew in front of him and stare up into the nave, and then left and right into the transepts.

"Hope I didn't throw you off. I didn't go to Mass much, so I don't really know what the, uh, drill is." Sora pauses, then suddenly feels bad for just plopping right down. "I can just come back later? I mean, I know that you just said that, uh, a church isn't a necessity, but, like, you were here first, right?"

No talking in church is a valid concern, but they're caught in the lovely loophole of being both before and technically after a service. You can get away with some hushed conversations in that particular midnight hour. And honestly, since it's not actually a catholic church, maybe they could just talk whenever in here.... . . .. . . .

"No, I'm all right." Matt idly thumbs the beads of his rosary. He's not certain yet if he means to try again or if he'll just call it a wash. Repetitive hail mary's don't seem to be getting him anywhere, and while that hasn't ever stopped him... it's a lot harder to keep drumming through them without a priest to remind him that echoing absence didn't indicate some kind of abandonment, or worse. Matt is overbearingly catholic, but not easily so. He fights about as hard for his faith as he fights for everything else, and fittingly it's as neverending as all his other battles.

His brow does crease at the idea the boy could come back later. "There's not an occupancy limit. You're more than welcome. If you find yourself drawn here, I'm happy to have the company." Which means he better introduce himself. "Matt. You sound new." Sound because, well... he can't exactly comment on whether Sora looks new.

He studies Matt for a second. Oh, he can't see, can he? That explains quite a bit then - sunglasses indoors in a world with no light, for one. He pops his chin back up, about to ask about that, but then closes his mouth and puts his head back down again. It'll come up later if it's important.

He stares into the middle distance. Well, he was curious? He doesn't know if that's the same as being drawn somewhere. All he does is wander and try to take care of his friends when they're around, if he can. He can't here. Maybe that's all he's doing. Chasing dreams.

"It's nice to meet you, Matt. You're right, I'm new." He bites his lower lip. Well, a church is kind of a different space. It doesn't feel so bad to just go with the truth this time. "I don't know if I have a name. Is that cool?"

Everyone always wants to ask about that. Matt has a spiel of rapid-fire FAQ answers, which he's answered about a good hundred times in his lifetime at this point. And while Sora hasn't asked yet... Matt honestly figures it'll come up later. It's an incredible rarity that people don't ask about his blindness, he's used to it at this point.

Matt offers a smile, a tired but fairly genuine one, at the greeting in return. He's a friendly enough guy, even with the trying existence of being in Beacon. He tilts his head a bit like a confused puppy at the mention his company isn't sure he has a name.

"I think that depends on you, more than me." Matt wouldn't be all right with not having a name, for example, though his experience isn't the only one. "What makes you say that, that you don't know?" It's a curious way of phrasing it, to say the least.

It's good that Matt's prepared! Buster, Sora will be coming for those answers as soon as he's more settled in with his new pal. Right now, he's just taking it as it comes.

Sora stares into the candles at the front of the church, thinking about how to answer that one in a way that doesn't involve a two hour long conversations or, like, diagrams and a two hour long conversation. (How are those candles lit? Are they like the lanterns and the bonfire?) "If it was up to me, I'd say I had two names? That's what I was going with before I got here." He pauses, thinks about what he just said for a moment. "Sorry, that's even more confusing. Um." He lifts his chin and puts his forehead down in the same spot, looking at the floor. Man, the split personality explanation doesn't really help explain much at all here, huh? It's not like it's precisely the truth, anyway.

"I'm, uh. I guess you could call me a bodysnatcher?" Sora thinks about this for another moment before continuing, not bothering to raise his head. "Like, I'm just sort of riding around in this body. There's another guy in here, and I sort of. Accidentally took his body. I have my own memories, but I remember everything he's ever done like I did them too." For reasons that he is not sure he can quite go into in the space of one conversation. "And the memories that aren't his belong to a person with a different name. So." Two names. They both feel right, but one almost definitely isn't actually his. The other one... is pending.

I don't think there's been a proper investigation on that yet, Sora. If you'd like to know, maybe give it a shot! In the meantime, they do provide a nice ambiance. Well, for those that can see it. Matt can't, but the sound reminds him of a church. Even though Clinton had used oil burning candles, they were neater, it's just the idea of them really.

"It's not that confusing," Matt muses, though it's an oddly frank discussion of what seems like multiple personalities. It's something that surely existed, in fact he once defended a young man with dissociative identity disorder and had looked into it plenty to bolster their case. He doesn't quite connect that it could be a bit more complicated than that, but Matt's mind doesn't naturally go to magic or reincarnation. He still leans toward an unmagical understanding of the world, despite the fact he prays reverently to an invisible three part deity that lived in the clouds.

"Do you feel more comfortable with one name over the other?" Just to have something he can use when they talk.

Well, Sora does have a vested interest in the light! He'll add it on his very long list of things he'd like to figure out in Beacon.

"Really?" There wasn't much perspective to be had amongst the numbers club back in Locke City. Definitely not a single therapist among them. They probably could have tried to go for some kind of psych unaffiliated with the network, but the first and only time someone tried to call outside the network for help, the cops came and shot him, his family, then burned down their home. That pretty much scared everyone else off from the idea for good. So. The idea that these problems weren't as crazy as he'd assumed they were is a new and refreshing thought.

"Oh man, they're both comfortable," he says, trying not to smile. He's done enough smiling. Let's let that rest for a while. "But, uh, I don't think I should use his anymore. Probably. I was only using it because it was what everyone knew this face by. I had to... keep hiding that he was asleep. I guess that doesn't matter here, right?" No cops to hide from. No FBI to watch out for. He's too dead to put his family in danger anymore. It's fine. Probably.

"The other name's Sora." It's the one he thought was his until he got here. "I don't know if it's mine either, but you can use that for now."

Edited (grammar) 2020-02-18 07:31 (UTC)

Matt is probably the least vested in light of everyone in Beacon. Even Vanitas, tbh. And I know that's saying something. It's not as if he doesn't understand the importance, but, he's also not the first one fighting for more light in their lives. Those in Beacon that could actually see can run that particular banner.

"Sora." It sounds like an identity struggle that won't be easy to combat, and a complicated situation to detangle to say the least. Still, he does appreciate having a name to go by. "It's nice to meet you. And if what you'd like to be called changes, just let me know."

He's no therapist, that's a fact, but he's willing to accept any identity someone wants to be known by. A bonus of having two of them in his living existence — he can accept more than one.

Vanitas is gunning for a different kind of darkness, Sora thinks. And Sora doesn't have anything in particular against the dark! Not much has convinced him that it's totally bad. Light's just something he knows everyone else would want.

Sora huffs out a laugh. "Thanks, you too. I'm... usually the one to tell other people that. That I'll let them know if I change my mind." Sora pauses, looking at Matt out of the corner of his eyes. Huh. He somehow gets the impression that Matt's the type to listen to people a lot.

"Have you been here a while? I guess both here and, you know. Here." Sora doesn't really mean to deflect! He just wants to learn a bit more about this guy if they're going to be sitting in the same space for a while. Genuinely curious!

He's more of a listener than a sharer, that's a fact. He's a professional personal information evader, though probably just about everyone he's spoken to in Beacon knows he's a lawyer from New York. At this point they probably know he's catholic, too, if for the fact he's always praying about something if not for the fact he openly admits it. Much more than that, well... that gets harder to pin down.

That said, most wouldn't realize exactly how closed of a book he is, since Matt presents far more open than he actually is. He's like find your own adventure book, only it keeps asking you to go to new pages and nothing else ever happens. Whoops.

"I've been here twenty minutes or so. I try and come every day, if I can." That's as far as the church goes, anyway. As far as being in Beacon proper goes... "It's been about five months. Close to six, now."

Is that a challenge or a request for professional courtesy? Either way, Sora wants to know more, and he has not crossed the intelligence threshold for the concept of leaving well enough alone to really soak in yet. At least he is well and truly dupable? He doesn't mind being taken for a ride as long as no harm is meant.

"Five to six months." That's a while. At least the church attendance is a good sign. Structure. Sora has a feeling that's something hard to keep up with when there's no light... but maybe that's why it's easier for Matt? After all, what's a circadian rhythm to someone who doesn't see the sun? "Does it get easier? Like... knowing you can't go home?"

Does it get easier? Really hard to say. At this point he's accepted that he's here, that keeping his heart at home where his friends are just ends up with people here in Beacon getting hurt, or worse. He has keep his attention here, and not in the world he left behind. Did it get easier, though? Not really, truth be told. He's just learned to deal with it a little better.

"Maybe not easier. But when you find a place here, something that matters... it doesn't hurt quite as much." That's the best advice he can give, to make a connection in Beacon, instead of leaving your heart and head in a home that can't be reached anymore.

Sora winces at that as quietly as he can, closing his eyes. His hand climbs up to his chest and grab at his sweatshirt right over his heart as he wills his heart to stop hurting like that. Pipe down.

"Making a place here. New bonds." He has to be firm, his voice steady. "Well, I was pretty good at that a long time time ago. Haven't had a chance to make new friends in a long time." He laughs. "Kinda wish I didn't have to die to go to a new world with new friends to make, but this is better than nothing, right?"

Quiet or not, Matt is the type to hear it, even if he can't see it. It's not exactly something he'd hold against someone, though. This isn't the easiest conversation to have, and he knows that. It's hard to be here, in a completely foreign life. To be expected to let go of everything that used to matter to you and find new things, here.

"I wish that, too," Matt agrees wryly. Most of all he wishes he hadn't had to die and try to make new friends in the first place. Call him selfish but he wants to be home, in his city, with his people. But it isn't an option, and he knows it. "But we can't change it, at least not right now. So we might as well make the most of what we can."

"Yeah." Sora thinks about that for a moment and then laughs softly. "Might even try to save the world again, as long as we're trying to find things to do." Who knows? It might work out this time.

"Iunno. Is that too ambitious?" Sora puts his chin back on the pew. "Rosinante told me that that's something we're trying to do. He says we might have a shot." What about you, Matt? What's your definition of making the most of what you've got?

Saving the world. Since Matt isn't a shounen anime hero, he doesn't really think one person can reach quite that far. He was totally fine with just holding down a few square miles, back in his hayday. He smiles, a little wistfully, reaching for the walking stick that's leaning against the pew.

"Maybe. But you miss every shot you don't take, right?" He's not optimistic about their odds, but he also isn't one to think you should give up because of a grim outlook. He'll fight, as long as they still can. Whatever that looks like. "For me it means doing what I can for this town. The people here. There's a part all of us can play. It's just about finding yours."

That said, he stands up. "It was nice to meet you, Sora. I've been here a few months now. If you end up with questions you need answered, let me know. I'll do what I can." Until then, though, he seems to intend to head on his way.

Sora laughs. He's only been here a week, but it sure has felt like months. He almost lifts a hand, but puts it down on top of his head. Right, can't see a wave. Idiot.

"Right. Catch ya later, Matt." And Sora will go right back to looking at the candles lighting the front of the church. That guy was nice. He hopes he sees him again sometime.

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From the windows (from the windows) to the walls (to the walls)

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