( he sort of. exhales. flexes his fingers, an' tries to really consider it. what would he say to al about a stranger? kyna ain't hardly that, an' besides this is the first time he's really even talked about his brother with anyone who ain't reggie's shade in years. none of the fellas in the company save alex even know he's got brothers. )

He, ah. He's difficult. Complicated. Always has been. He'd've followed me into Hell when we were younger, but after we lost our Ma he changed some, lost his way.

( it's the kindest way he can think to describe what happened after. al was forever gettin' into fights afterwards. he became volatile at a word. more than once gene had to step in on his account, an' in hindsight near every time he did he'd haul al home by the scruff lecturin' him. he'd tried so hard to fill the gap their ma left. must'a felt to al like he'd lost both his ma an' his brother at once. his expression softens at the realization. )

Truth be told, I left for New York at fourteen an' when I came back we were strangers, near about. He felt I'd abandoned them, an' I can't rightly blame him for sayin' so.