( it is bleak. Matt probably doesn't have it in him to not blame himself for what happened to Grizz, and likely this isn't the first desperate and hopeless search he'll plunge into the dark. she might be right that he has to accept the conditions they're trapped under. maybe, in a way, he is. it's forcing him to let go of things usually he'd hold onto with both hands. it's making him desperate to make what he can of the little he has.
and it is starting to push him to do as much as he can to find out why Beacon is the way it is — on the desperate hope that maybe if they find some answers, they'll siphon back some measure of control. that when the end comes, they'll get more of a say over it happens.
Matt saw that one coming a mile away, blind and all. he sighs, closing his eyes. )
I'm not sure I'm ready to sleep. ( sometimes it's not as easy as just being exhausted, because he's surely that. his head has to be in step with the rest of him, and while his body is ready to tap out, his brain isn't quite ready to let him off that easy. )
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and it is starting to push him to do as much as he can to find out why Beacon is the way it is — on the desperate hope that maybe if they find some answers, they'll siphon back some measure of control. that when the end comes, they'll get more of a say over it happens.
Matt saw that one coming a mile away, blind and all. he sighs, closing his eyes. )
I'm not sure I'm ready to sleep. ( sometimes it's not as easy as just being exhausted, because he's surely that. his head has to be in step with the rest of him, and while his body is ready to tap out, his brain isn't quite ready to let him off that easy. )