( She doesn't realise she's shouting until the sound tears out of her throat, as her feed fall away from under her and the platform starts to stretch endlessly on like some Escher nightmare, as though it went from walkway into a saltplain that stretched on for miles.
Or maybe it was just metres, but it was all the same for what it had snatched out of her reach, and there's a flare of rage in her. Anger with Kol for saving her life, anger at the voice that had told her to die, a fury that's directed externally and internally with equal and conflicting intensity.
She doesn't-- totally get it. There's too much going on in her head, a battle of what she wants and doesn't want in the same breath, too sharply contradictory and she can't make sense of it, and Sarissa is still on her knees, hands pressing hard at either side of her head, before she staggers first to one foot, and lurches so she's standing.
As difficult as this is for her to get her head around, she starts to move towards Kol, even if it feels like she's moving through tar, for how hazy her mind is. )
Hey, you dick. You don't get to decide for people.
( Even if they wish for death? Some calm, logical part of her offers, and another part of her that doesn't feel like her agrees with Kol, and another is just too exhausted. )
cw mentions of attempted suicide.
( She doesn't realise she's shouting until the sound tears out of her throat, as her feed fall away from under her and the platform starts to stretch endlessly on like some Escher nightmare, as though it went from walkway into a saltplain that stretched on for miles.
Or maybe it was just metres, but it was all the same for what it had snatched out of her reach, and there's a flare of rage in her. Anger with Kol for saving her life, anger at the voice that had told her to die, a fury that's directed externally and internally with equal and conflicting intensity.
She doesn't-- totally get it. There's too much going on in her head, a battle of what she wants and doesn't want in the same breath, too sharply contradictory and she can't make sense of it, and Sarissa is still on her knees, hands pressing hard at either side of her head, before she staggers first to one foot, and lurches so she's standing.
As difficult as this is for her to get her head around, she starts to move towards Kol, even if it feels like she's moving through tar, for how hazy her mind is. )
Hey, you dick. You don't get to decide for people.
( Even if they wish for death? Some calm, logical part of her offers, and another part of her that doesn't feel like her agrees with Kol, and another is just too exhausted. )