[ kol stares out at the hideous silhouette of a creature in the distance, hearing the unfamiliar voices loud and clear. even though those voices are loud, all he can hear is sarissa and daylight—a heavily beating heart, frantic in its fear, and something uncannily noisy from a man who hasn't made so much as a sound despite looking heavy enough to sound like an earthquake.
despite the noises, it's the thoughts that cradle him. he's always felt things too much—he can't remember a day where he felt normal, like an emotion wasn't ready to tumble him over. he's overcome with a very familiar and centuries-old feeling; he hasn't had these thoughts since the weeks his mother had cursed them all to be vampries.
he's always wanted to live, but on his terms. not as a vampire, not as a monster that looks very much like the creature in the distance—an ugly thing that only becomes uglier as time passes. even when his own life force had been dumped into the body of kaleb westphall, that monster that had formed in the space of a boy who simply wanted to do spells and be a witch had followed. perhaps finn was right in cursing him to die alone—it'd be better if he was, unable to hurt anyone he comes to care about.
but he wants to live. one doesn't get by 1,000 years of sibling torment and torture and coffin containment with the hopeless desire to die. only finn. weak, stupid, and hateful finn—a brother kol never understood and who never understood him. and it's that focus on finn—that softening and compasssion he feels toward a brother who had murdered him—that flares something hot and sharp inside of kol.
that's not him. he doesn't want to die; he's not going to die. davina had gone through hell and high-water just to get his goddamn ashes. if he's going to die, it's going to be on his own bloody terms.
rage towards the dream and this realm overcomes him. it's white-hot with a lifeforce of its own, and it only grows hotter at the sight of daylight succumbing to the lure of that noose. ]
Hey!
[ it's in a blur that kol lunges toward daylight, gripping him as tightly as he can around his torso and pulling that rope as hard as he can from its wood.
while he's trying to coerce daylight not to fucking jump, kol tries to manipulate this horrible dream and move sarissa away from that railing—extend the platform, perhaps even give her something happy to look at. if these two idiots are going to die, it's not going to be on his watch. this place won't make him the monster who looks away. ]
cw mentions of murder and attempted suicide.
despite the noises, it's the thoughts that cradle him. he's always felt things too much—he can't remember a day where he felt normal, like an emotion wasn't ready to tumble him over. he's overcome with a very familiar and centuries-old feeling; he hasn't had these thoughts since the weeks his mother had cursed them all to be vampries.
he's always wanted to live, but on his terms. not as a vampire, not as a monster that looks very much like the creature in the distance—an ugly thing that only becomes uglier as time passes. even when his own life force had been dumped into the body of kaleb westphall, that monster that had formed in the space of a boy who simply wanted to do spells and be a witch had followed. perhaps finn was right in cursing him to die alone—it'd be better if he was, unable to hurt anyone he comes to care about.
but he wants to live. one doesn't get by 1,000 years of sibling torment and torture and coffin containment with the hopeless desire to die. only finn. weak, stupid, and hateful finn—a brother kol never understood and who never understood him. and it's that focus on finn—that softening and compasssion he feels toward a brother who had murdered him—that flares something hot and sharp inside of kol.
that's not him. he doesn't want to die; he's not going to die. davina had gone through hell and high-water just to get his goddamn ashes. if he's going to die, it's going to be on his own bloody terms.
rage towards the dream and this realm overcomes him. it's white-hot with a lifeforce of its own, and it only grows hotter at the sight of daylight succumbing to the lure of that noose. ]
Hey!
[ it's in a blur that kol lunges toward daylight, gripping him as tightly as he can around his torso and pulling that rope as hard as he can from its wood.
while he's trying to coerce daylight not to fucking jump, kol tries to manipulate this horrible dream and move sarissa away from that railing—extend the platform, perhaps even give her something happy to look at. if these two idiots are going to die, it's not going to be on his watch. this place won't make him the monster who looks away. ]