She can feel his gaze on her but can't quite bring herself to meet it. Sure in some way that in doing so, he'd see everything she's not saying. It's a knack Kol seemed to have.; Being able to see her, instead of through, or past and after a lifetime of existing just outside of the frame? She hasn't figured out how to navigate being in focus.
"Every day." She says it simply, like it's a part of being that she accepts now. That missing Cassandra is a naturally a part of her as breathing. She misses her in Beacon perhaps more than ever because she could finally stop long enough to truly feel her absence. She no longer had to be an out of her depth teenager trying to save people she'd known her whole life from their own fear and stupidity. Now she's just the girl whose sister had died and to most people here? She wasn't known as that.
The soft sound of laughter spills past her lips. Allie shaking her head as if to dismiss the idea but she thinks about it for a moment, her brow furrowing with thought and has to concede it's not the craziest thing she's ever heard. "Maybe?" Lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "Her life would have been easier I guess." But the very things that made Cassandra's life harder were the things that made her who she was. She'd never have been the kind of person who could sit back and allow others to make the tough decisions. If she had been, she'd still be alive.
"I can't find the necklace she gave me." Finally providing the context to why she's out here. Why this moment out of the thousand of moments since her death is the one that's too much. She knows it's just a necklace, that it doesn't erase the memories she has of her sister but it still feels like a piece of Cassandra has been taken from her. A piece that can't be eroded by distance or time.
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"Every day." She says it simply, like it's a part of being that she accepts now. That missing Cassandra is a naturally a part of her as breathing. She misses her in Beacon perhaps more than ever because she could finally stop long enough to truly feel her absence. She no longer had to be an out of her depth teenager trying to save people she'd known her whole life from their own fear and stupidity. Now she's just the girl whose sister had died and to most people here? She wasn't known as that.
The soft sound of laughter spills past her lips. Allie shaking her head as if to dismiss the idea but she thinks about it for a moment, her brow furrowing with thought and has to concede it's not the craziest thing she's ever heard. "Maybe?" Lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "Her life would have been easier I guess." But the very things that made Cassandra's life harder were the things that made her who she was. She'd never have been the kind of person who could sit back and allow others to make the tough decisions. If she had been, she'd still be alive.
"I can't find the necklace she gave me." Finally providing the context to why she's out here. Why this moment out of the thousand of moments since her death is the one that's too much. She knows it's just a necklace, that it doesn't erase the memories she has of her sister but it still feels like a piece of Cassandra has been taken from her. A piece that can't be eroded by distance or time.