( it's different. he knows it's different, there's no hiding it's different. there's no retreating from how blatantly different it is. and for Matt, there's no going back to a point of intentionally enforced distance when instinct has shown him what he's been so desperate to avoid. he can't just hold Elektra at arms length and pretend that will save him from falling in love with her all over again anymore. there's no saving him from that, because he never stopped. it was too late as soon as he met her, it's been a losing battle to pretend otherwise since the first moment she found him in the dark.
it's a risk, and it's terrifying, to accept that there's something to him here that matters. loving something opens the risk to losing it, and Matt has lost enough that he knows how easy it can happen, even in the most ideal of circumstances. he's lost enough that he tries quite desperately to never be put in the position to feel it again — though the other side of that coin means he knows full well exactly what it means when he's so instantly and completely terrified by the prospect.
he knows it's something they'll need to address. just not now, not when her mind is a breath away from spiraling away from him again. Matt doesn't want to give the hallucinations any ammunition.
she settles against his chest and his arms wind under and around her like it's second nature to hold her. in a way it is — despite the fact he hasn't held her like this in years, it feels easy and familiar. his forehead presses at her shoulder, just to track the tempo of her heartbeat as it calms and slows. ) Of course. ( it's an overly simplified answer for all the emotions involved, though it's the easiest one to provide at the moment. he means it all the same — if she needs him, of course he will be there.
even if the proof he's failed at protecting her is just under his palm, he can't help but make the promise anyway. )
no subject
it's a risk, and it's terrifying, to accept that there's something to him here that matters. loving something opens the risk to losing it, and Matt has lost enough that he knows how easy it can happen, even in the most ideal of circumstances. he's lost enough that he tries quite desperately to never be put in the position to feel it again — though the other side of that coin means he knows full well exactly what it means when he's so instantly and completely terrified by the prospect.
he knows it's something they'll need to address. just not now, not when her mind is a breath away from spiraling away from him again. Matt doesn't want to give the hallucinations any ammunition.
she settles against his chest and his arms wind under and around her like it's second nature to hold her. in a way it is — despite the fact he hasn't held her like this in years, it feels easy and familiar. his forehead presses at her shoulder, just to track the tempo of her heartbeat as it calms and slows. ) Of course. ( it's an overly simplified answer for all the emotions involved, though it's the easiest one to provide at the moment. he means it all the same — if she needs him, of course he will be there.
even if the proof he's failed at protecting her is just under his palm, he can't help but make the promise anyway. )
Try and sleep. I'm not going anywhere.