"If we're lucky, this group malfunction won't last that long. I can handle being afraid. I'm used to it. Just not if I'm seeing the fucking Chair every time I turn around, or people being shoved into it when it's not me in it." That was the worst. "I fell apart on Misty. Thinking I was going to get wiped again."

It checks its weapons, mostly so it doesn't have to look at Crowley again. Because it's not afraid, and Crowley is a friend and so helpful, it admits grimly, "I really don't want to get wiped again. I don't want to forget any of you here."